Spiders and Stone Fruits

<Optional spider leg/body sounds>

Wake up...waaaake uuuup....

Please...?

My sweet little nectarine...please wake up...

{Pause}

Oh! Good! You're finally coming to. I'm so excited...

Um...Please keep your eyes closed for now, okay?

I'm worried you might act irrationally if you do.

Please~?

{Pause for answer}

Yay! I promise this will be worth it.

You're still at home, in your own bed. Tucked in, just as you were when you went to sleep. It's still very late...

I didn't have a better opportunity to introduce myself. I'm sorry, nectarine!

<Approaching listener somewhat>

I've been wanting to introduce myself to you for a long, long time. Years, actually. But I've never been sure how to go about it...

I'm really shy, for starters. I don't like people looking at me or thinking much about me. If I'm not in control of the conversation...it usually freaks me out and I jump away. I don't get to talk to many humans anyway. They aren't really the most...receptive.

I'm probably not really "conventionally" pretty by anybody's standards. Looks aren't everything, maybe, but mine are a little extreme.

I promise I'm sweet and innocent. I wouldn't hurt anybody! Especially not you, nectarine! Looks are really deceiving. At least, that's what I think. Sometimes a person looks one way, and acts a totally different way!

I kind of feel like that sometimes...

[Stressed, but sad] A lot of the times.

I don't want you to see me yet because I know I look very different from my personality...and I'm scared it will ruin how you think of me.

I just want to be sweet for you. And calm. And caring. I want to be here for you no matter what.

[Flustered] I-I, uh, well...I kind of...I, well, you see the thing is just-

I love you. A lot. A lot a lot. So-so-so-so-so-much. You're basically all I can think about! I have so much love for you.

I'm not too good at understanding human facial expressions. I think that your expression means confusion, though. That's a lot better than fear. I guess that's somewhat relaxing.

I do love you, nectarine. I do! I have for a long long time.

You like to walk in the woods near here. Twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays. I think you're off work Tuesdays, because you're normally there a lot longer.

I don't want to make assumptions, but in a way it feels a little like your home away from home, right?

{Pause}

Oh, you're still so sleepy...I'm sorry, nectarine! I won't make you answer tonight.

I think you like it there. In the woods, that is. It's quiet and beautiful...[full whisper] like me...

The world today is so noisy. Cars, construction workers, exhaust fans...[strained/jealous] other people.

You like the woods because it doesn't have any of that. It's nothing but trees and moss and stillness. And me! 

I don't think you're really the gloating type. You wouldn't share your path with others. Do they even know you're out there? I bet they don't.

It's your little secret. One I'm all the happier to keep for you.

{Pause}

I watched you from a distance at first. Humans in the woods aren't too uncommon, I guess, but you were different. You weren't taking pictures on your phone, you weren't littering, and you weren't disturbing the wildlife. Actually, you clean up after others quite a bit. What a refreshing change of pace!

You've helped plants and even animals on your strolls, or point humans towards the quickest way out. The way you move is so gentle, and warm. It's like your very soul is made out of the softest fur in the world. Or the skin of a peach!

I'd come to realize that the path you take almost always lines up with my hunting route. It was like you knew where I was going, at what time!

Most predators would be annoyed that a human would interrupt their hunting patterns, but it honestly just made me more curious about you! It was like you were meant to find me along that path. Or I guess in this case, I found you.

I asked some friends of mine to keep an eye on you...or to follow you home, really. They watched how you were with other people, and in the private of your den—err, house.

I learned so much about you! I don't know what about you was so captivating, but it felt as though every stone I turned led to three more to look at! I just wanted to keep going...

You were also adept at finding my friends. One of them called it "almost supernatural" how you found three of them in only the span of an hour.

[Sigh; dreamily]

You were kind to them. You didn't scream or try to hurt them. You just gently guided them outside with a piece of paper.

So, so, sweet...

My darling nectarine, if we want this to work out, I think you deserve to know the truth. I'd still prefer it if you kept your eyes closed, though.

I'm not human. Quite far from it. I'm...a spider hybrid! Mhm! Some people call us "driders", but I've never really understood that. I'm still half human...but I didn't want you to see the spider part and get frightened.

More specifically, I'm an Asiatic wall jumping spider. I don't really spin webs like most spiders do. I'm super fluffy, too!

I just jump around and trap my prey. Which is not humans, by the way. Yuck! I've never tried one, but I can't imagine you all taste any good. No offense.

I just trap insects or sometimes the occasional rabbit. But also, I love eating fruit for fun! Mmm...sweet and juicy fruits. I love them a lot, even if they're not really the most nutritious for me.

The woods have some that grow in it. They're really deep inside, and probably not where you've explored. Maybe I can show you!

We can munch on cherries and plums together. [Excited] Ohh, I like that idea!

[Sigh dreamily]

A-anyways...once I learned about you from my friends, I started to follow you closer. A lot closer. Humans never really look up, did you know that? I was always above you in the trees, and you never saw me once! My eyes are pretty good for a spider, and so is my ability to hear you. It was like a personal show!

{Pause}

You mutter to yourself a lot. Did you know that? Always debating and thinking...always trying to figure out what you could have done or should have said. [Sad] You're...really hard on yourself.

There's a lot of guilt in your soul. Something you've done in your past, maybe? It seems to weigh heavy on your conscience. You never speak kindly about the things you've done or plan to do. It's always something mean...

Would it be okay if you let me say nice things sometimes?

I think you want change. To be different. To be kinder. To be someone who approaches the world with love and understanding instead of mistrust and fear. It's what you've said to the woods, anyway. You just need help finding a place to start, but don't have anybody to ask. Or maybe, you don't feel comfortable asking. I want to help you see that it's okay to be who you are now, and that someone would be right with you as you improve...no matter what.

I think that started to make me a little bit sad, in a way. That you felt so bitter towards yourself...and to others. When you're dealing with people, you can put on the sweet act. You are kind and considerate to how others feel and behave! But behind closed doors, or when you're alone...there's a hard bitterness in you.

Much like stone fruits! Peaches, plums, apricots...and I think you fit in right with them, little nectarine~! You're sweet and soft on the outside but strong and maybe a little bitter on the inside. 

I think most creatures would really hate that. Hate seeing somebody that's got contempt in their core. I don't even think I really should like that either, but yet...

I do. I still think about you. I think about how much I still want to be with you, and how much the two of us can grow. How much we...well...how much I love you.

I've really been thinking about it. The impact you've made on a little spider like me is...well, it's quite a lot. Maybe it feels like you haven't done that much, but it's really given me a lot of perspective.

Nobody ever told me what this would be like, really. They just said it would feel right. [Sigh; with confidence] I...I want you to be my mate.

You're still sort of sleepy...but I think that expression means surprised. I guess having only just met me, that would be pretty surprising...

This is probably a super bad first impression...[Flustered/Frustrated] Oh I knew I should have done this differently!

{Pause; listener answers}

You...you want to learn more about me? [Excited] Really? Yay!

I hope you'll let me keep you~

Oh, but...it's still the middle of the night...I've kept you awake long enough. Humans need to sleep a lot, I think. I've tried to study how your kind works to be a better mate candidate.

It's a Tuesday, right? So you can come see me again soon! Maybe...maybe you'll get the chance to see me this time. A-and I could mark you! I'm still kind of shy...but I'll try to preen myself up a little bit!

It would probably be hard to miss a giant spider. You'll know when it's me! I'm sure of it. I probably look really scary right now in the low light, but I promise to be nothing but smiles and love for you!

We can talk for as long as you want when you're awake. I'll go for now to let you rest. I still have hunting to do...

{Pause; listener speaks}

You want to ask me something? Now? Okay...

{Pause for listener question}

My...name? I guess...well, I don't really have a name. It's not something spiders really have.

I guess you do need to call me something, though. "Big ol' spider" probably doesn't cut it.

{Pause for listener}

What was that? You kind of mumbled it out.

You'll call me Peaches?

Ohhhh, I love the sound of that! From now on, you can call me Peaches! [Giddy] Peaches, Peaches, Peaches. I can't wait to hear you call me that more often~!

Okay! Okay. Calm down. [Sigh]

Goodnight, my little nectarine. I hope we can see each other again soon. Mhm! Sleep well!

<Spider legs moving away from listener; begin fade out; continue to end>

[Singingly] Peaches and Necarine, Peaches and Necarine, the happiest mates that have ever been! Peaches and Necarine, Peaches and Necarine, the happiest mates that the world has ever seen!

<Repeat and/or ad-lib the little fruit song for as long as you'd like>

END.