Meet the Pool Shark

<Optionally, clattering of billiards balls; bar ambiance>

Hey hey hey...watch it, Slick!

Move it, move it...you're blocking the light. I can't see this shot.

<Billiard ball crack>

That's the money. What's up toots? Bar man send you t' yell at me or somethin'?

No? Y'aint trying to play over here or nothin' are yas? I'm usually one to play solo. Keeps my focus 'n all that. 

Not here to play. Good! Er...good. Mind me asking why you're botherin' me?

A writer, ay? Been a while since I've seen a member of the press. Whoop dee. I've got nothing to say to you journalistic types, so buzz off whenever the idea hits ya.

Not a journalist? Whattya mean then?

{Explains that listener is an author}

An author huh? Write books 'n such? Fancy fancy. What's a bookworm like you doin talkin' to a washed up schmuck like me, anyway? 

Lookin' for inspiration. Well that's a noble goal. Trying to get some genius out of ol' Ricky, huh? I'm not sure what kinda luck you'll have out of an old guy like me. You tryin' to wrangle a story 'er two out of me? I don't got much to share.

Used to be a bit of a smart aleck back in school. Won the testin' contest in geography. Top of the class for three long years. Made Ma mighty proud. Took my first job repairin' cars with Uncle Louie...

<Crack of balls colliding>

{Pause}

No, I ain't playing no pool. It's Billiards, you got it? I don't care if they look the same, I ain't on board with callin' it some slang term they made up for it. Be professional. What's you're point in comin' over here if you don't know what you're talking about?

Whuzzat? Bar man said I won a tournament? Yeah, that's true. Was a long time ago. Nowhere near here, I'm sure ya understand.

{Pause}

Ehh...sure. Why not. I'll tell ya.

Used to play all the big clubs. Shotzy's. Florence's. The Green Room. Mall of America. All da biggest halls you can think of. I wasn't a big star or nothin'. Paid for most of it outta pocket, right outta the prize money I earned from winnin' minor leagues. Almost got signed once 'er twice, but I was never enough to really make it to da big leagues, ya feel?

I did good at it for awhile. A busy life, sure, but a happy one. Just me, the world, and a coupla sticks.

Then things changed. I got old. A lot of the halls closed. Billiards was out, toots, and people like me were left behind. If you weren't playin' on the TV, you weren't playin' anywhere. Then there wasn't an anywhere left to play. I won the last tournament at Brother Vincetti's—weeks before Big Mikey died, 'n the bar closed. Wasn't much a tournament with only 8 players insteada 32. The people stopped watching. Stopped caring. Stopped paying.

{Pause}

Bar man says it counts. I don't. Not really, anyway. Wasn't a real game. But I'll never get those days back, now.

The pros are all dead or rottin' away in them fancy retirement homes. The amateurs slipped into obscurity. These people were nice people, sure, but not really friends, y'know? We got older and stopped bein' in touch. Been a lonely life out here in this lil' place.

Moved here to escape the noise. The drama. Myself. I guess it worked. It's quiet now, and pretty relaxin' too. But I miss those old days. Big neon lights, jazz bands blowin' their hearts out, drinks flyin' 'round. Feels like no matter where I go, it ain't the right place.

{Pause}

You're scribblin' away like your life depends on it. Was that really all that interestin'? 

I won't knock it or nothin'. Not tryin' to slight ya about yer choice of career. I just don't get it...like, the whole creative thing. I'm blown away how you types manage to imagine whole worlds like that. I ain't one-a 'em.

Life for me has always been about straight lines 'n controlled force. Ironically, I've never been good at math either. Maybe it's just being good at seeing a space in my head and hands. That's where the magic happens...

I think there's a reason they call our kind sharks. Not because of cheating or deception, but because we move in straight lines. The cue ball runs straight where we need it to. The target ball moves straight where we need it to. Laser-focused, in a way. It's like we're targetin' a kind of prey with these cues.

I'm wonderin' if maybe sharks like us live our lives that way. Movin' from one place to the next, only focused on the game. The prize. The next big catch. I missed a lot of life when travellin' the world, just because I wanted to play a game. Now I'm old 'n broke, living here day in and day out. Making up for games that'll never happen, sure, but mostly just regretting not doing other things at the same time. Lotta life I coulda lived.

[Sigh]

{Extended pause}

Listen up toots. Short of bar man and crazy Rod, I've been here about the most outta anybody. I've seen the types that come here, day in and day out. The people that come in here are a sad, lousy bunch. Probably a lot more so than bums like me. 

Point bein'...they prolly don't want much to do with you. Especially if you keep asking 'bout their personal lives. There's nothing I can do to stop ya from doin' whatever it is you're actually doin'—and I don't trust that you're just trying to get..."inspiration"— but know that the other people here are not going to be very friendly or open to you.

Outsiders are rare. We don't get 'em and we don't keep 'em. I don't think the village really likes 'em. 

Your own risk, I guess. Maybe yer just crazy like the rest of us.

I've got a game to finish. I'll forgive your intrusion if you get bar man to get me another beer. He knows which one. I don't know what hoity-toity abomination of a beverage you got there, but go get another of those and kill it anywhere but here. I've said enough for a lifetime. Away with you! I've only got the 7- and 8- balls left. 

<Fade out; pool balls clattering>

END.